That other kind of man

April 25, 20201

How do you work through the process? You know what I’m talking about. The process of the relationship turning cold. How is it that you were once so close, and you believed he was your best friend? When you had nothing, you had each other, but now, you’re stuck in the daydreams of what was. Listen. It was all a lie from the beginning. These days, you walk alone while people watch your every step. You spent years waiting for this man who made the sacred promise to be your husband, your covering – yes, him. He’s gone. It will no longer be; it’s over. He’s with her now. 

Sadly, you ignored the warnings of the mothers. I’ve been there. I can recall the times I heard,“Daughter, he’s not the one God has for you.” Have you heard that too? But you failed to take heed of the wisdom because you were caught up in the man. He said all the right things. He had all the good moves. He was slick and yes, he was sexy. The whispers in your ear set you on fire but you failed to check your heart. His heart was wicked, but you trusted it because he made you feel good. You refused to pray for him because he repeatedly told you he loved you. That was enough. He said all the sweet words you longed to hear. But those words were deceptive,cunningly put together just to lure you into his world of mischief. It was a complete, well-orchestrated design of the enemy to keep you from being blessed with the kingdom man God made for you. 

Many single women have spent too much time with the wrong man. Honestly, you know he’s not the one. You sense it deep in your soul. But after all the years you’ve invested in his world – and the world you dreamed of with him – you can’t let the relationship go. You keep hoping that your dream will come true, and he does just enough to keep you hanging on. Needless to say, holding on is a trick to detour you from receiving God’s best.

Sure, letting go is hard. The challenge is overcoming is the shame and embarrassment. Next,regret and feelings of loneliness surface. You’d rather settle for that other kind of man than to be alone. For this reason, many of us remain stuck in relationships that are physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. I know it’s hard to work through the painful process and believe you’ll love again, or better yet, know someone will love you. I know it’s tough, but you have to let him go. God has a greater plan. 

How many can admit to being caught up in the outer shell? The money was good, but it was fast money. The cash isn’t worth the heartache if he can’t surrender his heart to you. The flip side is he hasn’t the stability to keep you winning. Winning is something you deserve! There is nothing like a man who can’t provide for you. The church mothers warned you. Don’t let thisinformation go over your head. If he says he hasn’t worked in five years, believe him. Listen, pay attention, take note, and watch to see if he will produce. Trust your heart. Trust your instincts. If you are stuck in a dead-end relationship, by God’s grace, you will be free. 

Sisters, do you remember the red flags? There may have been many. I understand how our emotions run everywhere. You think he will change one day. He won’t change. He won’t. Remember, God already told you he is not the one. Don’t get married and expect him to change. It will only get worse. We’ve all been in love, but love doesn’t pay the bills. You deserve better. You do. Wait on God for your blessing. My girlfriend’s powerful saying is, “Don’t be stuck on stupid till when good comes, you miss it.” Love yourself. You are better than a fairy tale wrapped up in a lie. You are better than seconds and better than thirds. 

The progression of any prosperous relationship starts by acknowledging God first. God is your best point of reference. It’s a beautiful feeling to desire to be that special woman in a man’s life, but he has to be the right man God has for you. That’s when it’s special. The ungodly man expects a woman to let him continue to be self-absorbed. I want to encourage you to get absorbed in God and trust Him to give you His very best! Be watchful who you tie your soul to. It is costly! Ungodly intimate soul ties must be broken by the power of the Holy Ghost in order to move on. Don’t open yourself to demonic activity. Remember that old saying, “If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” So it is in the spirit realm. Watch your connections closely. Excerpt from Proverb 17 of “Better than Yesterday”

Vicki L. Kemp

Wife, Mother, Evangelist, Author, Teacher, Administrator, Encourager, Founder of Harvest of Hope Educational Service, and an amazing and loyal Friend.

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